GCA5 - From Banf to Vancouver

Its been about 3 weeks since my last update – The last time I wrote I was in a serious transition in Banff, incredibly ungrounded and feeling really sick.  In a lot of ways I was moving between my life in Nova Scotia, and the unknown territory of who I am becoming.

Anyone I know who is going through a rebirth experiences periods of not having a clue who they are.  This is because whatever we have thought about ourselves previously was what might be called a solid character, or a static image.

“This is just who I am”

This kind of thinking seemed to work before – But now it doesn’t.  I can only speak for my own life of course, but I am blessed to be around others who are experiencing the same thing in their own way.

The “new” (it is only new relatively) way of Being does not confine one’s self to Being a thing – But rather taking a step back into Being itself.

There are a few ways to put this:

We identify with the experience we are having – I am Josh, I am a healer, writer, singer, and lover

Then one says, but is there more?  In a way, there is not more.  But we can remember a space that is not identified with the experience we are having.

You could refer to it as remembering the experiencer, or the witness/bare awareness of the experience.
  
"You can't summon the silent witness, but you can place yourself close to it by refusing to get lost in your own creation" - Depak Chopra

So when one is not solely identified with the experience, and remembers the bare presence of the experiencer – There is liberation from the patterns and solidity of our personal character as the only experience.  A chance to move beyond certain limitations culturally, socially, and according to our own past is made.

In that space without identification with the experience – There is actually MORE SPACE for experience – Because the identification with one way of Being, is opened to multiple ways of Being – Whichever suits the moment, “going with the flow”.

Some people call this “I am” Presence – Because you can say, “I am” without adding anything to it.  This is a major space of liberation.

I do not believe we are to “live there” – But rather know that space, and integrate in ones life.

This is not the easiest thing to explain!!

Anyway, the adventure has been amazing.

In Banff I got to sit with an Elk for about a half an hour  - Beautiful animal!  Deers are everywhere, still are here on Vancouver Island.  I got to have a really great night dancing at a dubstep show.

I was staying with two really cool dudes – And the room I was staying in had a huge spiral in the center of the room, which to me is the symbol of a forward movement without throwing away anything.

A spiral contains itself as it moves – So the end of the spiral and the start of the spiral work together.  It is said that our evolutionary  path is in the formation of a spiral – Because as we move into new evolution we take everything experienced with us.  Rather than just throwing away the past, we move with it into something new in addition to our past.  Taking the learning gained into a freshness of new learning and creating.

So many soul conversations of higher understanding – One of the guys I was staying with has been stepping outside of certain paradigms as well, and we got to talk about the big conundrum of anyone moving forward on a evolutionary path.  That certain things don’t make sense anymore, perhaps you could call them stories – in my experience it is stories of being a victim or winner (ultimately) that do not fit.  But in that, its important to not be secluded from the rest of the people in a town.

So the conundrum is honouring the personal movement out of certain paradigms, but still being able to speak to people who might be in previous paradigms.  This is not to sound “elite” or better than anyone – Its simply an experience, and works with the spiral.

The time with Jay was lovely – Its always good to be with an old friend.  We both recognised that certain patterns come up that do not necessarily represent the “best” in one another – For example, sometimes I would start to feel really weak in my throat chakra – this is because when we knew each other before I was not speaking that which is my current truth.  These overlaps can happen.  But over the course of the experience I found that there was a settling out that was very balanced by the time we parted.

We hitch hiked to Nelson – Awesome experience.  As soon as we got to the first town in British Columbia (Radium) I felt a surge of joy, and a home feeling.  It was so sunny and I just felt filled with hope for freshness in self and adventure!

We got picked up by a really cool young dude – He took us to a natural hotspring which was awesome, took us to his place, fed us homemade pizza and gave as a place to set up our tent in his backyard – Stellar experience all the way through.

All of the hitch hiking experiences were amazing, and dare I say thorough.  Buying us lunch, getting us to the perfect spots.  Really great trip.

Neslon was AMAZING – Synchronicities ruled the day and I met someone going to Vancouver within the first 10 minutes of being there.  The one thing that I noticed in Nelson is that nearly everyone I met was bright.  Bright auras if you will (I do not see auras in detail), but it was obvious that they were doing things that enriched their experience, and were not stuck in a victim, routine space.

We stayed with two of Jays friends, very beautiful girls with really cool jobs doing body painting at festivals.  Truly Beings making it work for themselves.  They took me to another hot springs with caves, really healing currents!

From there I got a drive to Vancouver through the Kootenay Mountains which was more than amazing.  I have never seen nature like this before, and fantasise about camping through there on my way back – But who the hell knows?  Things have already gone much further from any expectation I could have placed on this adventure – Which of course is what makes it an adventure.  Oh, I got a speeding ticket! haha

I almost feel like I am skipping out on so much – In the two weeks I just wrote about there was a constant stream of synchronicity, soul filled conversation, personal confusion/healing, a mending of what it means to be in relationship (or not), and meaningful experiences (both positive and negative)

But I have been lost in the experience here in the freshness as the experiencer and have not found time to write!

I will write about Vancouver, and the trip and experience I am having here on the Island soon – I am feeling incredibly authentic, real, and true to myself in a way that I have not experienced since being in India.  I have had two sexual experiences which have been more than unique to my past, and am playing music with beautiful open people.

This is a long one and I am trying to keep them short, thanks for reading!

Love